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Halfway to Houston

by Susan Werner

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1.
she was halfway to houston before i saw her note make your own damn coffee thats all she wrote halfway to houston she left before dawn halfway to houston and three quarters gone she was halfway to houston before she took my call picked up said goodbye hung up, and that was all halfway to houston she was really mad halfway to houston and it was lookin bad halfway to houston there's not a lot to see billboards and lifted Fords and not a lot of me she was halfway to houston before she let me speak then she drove in silence for what felt like a week halfway to houston i could hear the wheels she was halfway to houston and then she just kept goin good luck, she said the line went dead and i was on my own halfway to houston and i was history and ever since that morning its just Folger's Instant for me
2.
i took I Ten East from El Paso then i turned south at Van Horn i had never been to West Texas but i bless the day i was born just to see that sky at night far from all the city lights i pulled over near Alpine where the air's cool and thin i climbed on top of my car took a breath and dove in swimming in a lake of stars out beyond the moon and mars into the deepest blue gliding through the galaxies Andromeda and Pleiades floating easy as you please back to this world of ours swimming in a lake of stars i looked into the eyes of Orion and saw mysterious things didn't turn around til morning when i touched Pegasus' wings just before the light of day my hair was full of Milky Way my skin seemed to shimmer with a silvery light i know that all of my days i will remember that night swimming so light swimming so easy Aquarius above and Pisces beneath me i floated back to Earth like the mortal i am but damn West Texas isn't kidding around
3.
TIny Texans 03:42
to my tiny texans i wish you love lots and lots of love to my tiny texans i wish you love big as the skies above i wish you pony rides and water slides and dips at Dairy Queens i wish you cowboy hats and kitty cats and no AR-15s i wish you fun and sun in Galveston and oh, those Marfa lights I wish you Barton Springs and all these things and reproductive rights wish you those books (banned books) they try to hide away wish you the use of him and her and they and any pronouns that you like i wish you love big as the skies above McDonald Observatory
4.
Daddy told you you were useless dumber than a barrel of hair said you'd never come to nothin and you'd never go nowhere oh but Daddy watched the Oilers every Sunday afternoon so you learned to throw a spiral like a rocket to the moon - - - - - and you started as a sophomore you played every Friday night me and Mama went and cheered you on Daddy cheered his Lone Star Light and sometimes you'd come home tired and you'd sleep the whole next day and sometimes you'd wear a funny look that wouldn't go away oh, for the love of men and you won the 3A title and a scholarship to Rice and i saw you on the Jumbotron and Daddy said, "that's nice" thirty thousand people watched you as your helmet hit the ground and the roaring crowd got quiet and the trainers gathered round now you work for Hardin County but you're not so good with names and your wife, she says its better if you just dont watch the games
5.
we got the live oak and the Piney Woods we got the horses and the tanned leather goods we got the Brazos and the Rio Grande we got the politics you can't understand oil and gas largemouth bass Buc-ee's and the H.E.B. Welcome to Texas! where the skies are blue if you dont mind the haze over Houston most days and you dont know what refineries do Welcome to Texas! welcome home. we got the stockyards up in old Fort Worth we got the barbecue to give you some girth we got the Riverwalk in San Antone we got the rattlesnakes you'd best leave alone border walls trucks with balls Oklahoma hates us, too! Welcome to Texas! where the weather's fine if you dont mind the heat as it burns through your feet and the smell of your huevos fryin' Welcome to Texas! Welcome home - home - home on the range where we ain't afraid of nothin 'cept the notion of change home - home - home of the saved where Jesus is alive and well - come to Texas! you're already here fifteen hundred a day movin in from L.A. now you're marketing your homebrew beer Welcome to Texas! now - go back home.
6.
there's always one drunk girl at the bar always that one girl takes it all too far she sits outside beneath a lonely light she holds her head 'cause she don't feel alright her loyal best friend by her side a few more hours she'll still be on this ride always a soft spot in my heart for that one drunk girl at the bar she'd tried til half an hour ago talking to guys she didn't like or know turning in circles to fit in until the faces all began to spin too many whisky lemonades now she's outside and riding out the waves i know how life can hit you hard when you're that drunk girl at the bar because that drunk girl once was me at least a time or two, or maybe three wanting so badly to belong she couldn't see yet how the whole scene fit her wrong now she stands up, she lifts her head next time around, won't be so easily led i see the light of wisdom spark inside that drunk girl at the bar and as the crowd starts shuffling home she starts to think about a life thats more her own she and her friend, they talk awhile they share a laugh, and now she finally smiles i see a woman, sure and smart inside that drunk girl at the bar maybe the gold dust of a star inside that girl at the bar
7.
back to back in the desert sand that's how they sleep in the evening two twin girls, grew up hand in hand with their lives interweaving one looks north and the other south they share the blood of the river one is lively but she is poor takes what the rich one can give her they share the same church they sing the same songs they count the same stars and they will always belong side by side in this storied land of the cross and the lasso sisters - Juarez and El Paso with the sun from their father's side and the moon as their mother bad men use them and break their hearts what hurts one hurts the other close as kin, close as souls can be still something always divides them cruel as fate and as hard as steel it cannot break what's inside them
8.
Corpus 04:10
i drove down from Dallas with low expectations to visit a friend and some distant relations i arrived late at night in the mood for libations made a bee-line for the rooftop bar and i ordered a Shiner and i poured it out slowly all the lights of the city all twinkling below me i looked out at the water all dark vast and knowing 'neath the party light strings of the stars have you ever seen Corpus from the Omni Hotel with the bay in the moonlight as it catches the swells if you have, you might fall for this city as well as i did god forbid but i did in the morning the sun rose above Mustang Island and the breeze blew the sand cross the bay half a mile and i looked out my window and i caught myself smiling at this total surprise of a view and the gulf wore a ballgown all shimmering and seemless all the wind turbines turning like some great ballerinas and my friend tried to tell me they keep out the mosquitoes but that wasn't entirely true have you ever seen Corpus from the Omni Hotel with the bay in the sunlight as it catches the swells - have you ever seen Corpus from the Omni Hotel with the daredevil kitesurfers riding the swells -
9.
back when we were both young and when Austin was Austin went to hear you sing live and each song i got lost in we stood outside at the Cactus Cafe as your crowd headed home you said the shows were all great but the road was exhausting i said where'd you go next you said up to Wildflower i said yeah thats tomorrow how bout the next hour you laughed and said that's a pretty good line well, cmon girl lets go but i stepped back afraid of my own sudden power as the midnight bells rang in the big campus tower i shouldve followed through wherever that night might lead shouldve followed through for something my heart might need that something in your smile as sweet as it was wild and when i think of you oh i shouldve followed through with those baby blue eyes and that buffalo necklace i was caught between being good and being reckless you said its alright i know how it goes i'll catch you next time around look me up anytime that you're passing through Texas me, i still like to think that that moment connects us i shouldve followed through followed through then and there cause we had a moment where we could have been more than friends and when i heard you were gone oh, your music will always live on and so will that night that still thrills me the most of feeling so much of standing so close oh, i shouldve followed through
10.
she makes coffee for her girlfriend she makes paintings for herself she makes jalapeno cornbread for everybody else and she makes it like her mother and she makes it out of love and she makes it because we, her friends, just cannot get enough of one cup cornmeal two cups grated cheese baking powder, buttermilk she always says its easy one can creamed corn half a cup of flour salt and soda, oil and eggs and bake for half an hour and dont forget the jalapenos take a woman out of Texas can't take Texas out of her and she'll tell you there are still some things should stay the way they were cause its hot out of the skillet and it warms you to your soul and it counters all the change in life that you cannot control she might add a little onion just to see what that might do but she never would add sugar cause she's Texan through and through
11.
to my tiny texans i wish you love lots and lots of love to my tiny texans i wish you love big as the skies above i wish you pony rides and water slides and dips at Dairy Queens i wish you cowboy hats and kitty cats and no AR-15s i wish you fun and sun in Galveston and oh, those Marfa lights I wish you Barton Springs and all these things and reproductive rights wish you those books (banned books) they try to hide away wish you the use of him and her and they and any pronouns that you like i wish you love big as the skies above McDonald Observatory

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released February 9, 2024

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Susan Werner Chicago, Illinois

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